Tales From The Kitchen: The Two-Ton Cake

One more cooking disaster: the cake I passed off as brownies, sort of. This one happened after we had graduated from Texas A&M and had moved to Edna, Texas, which was right down the road from Victoria, Texas, which made it an easy commute to University of Houston Victoria to work on my master’s degree in reading. At the end of one summer semester, my humanities class had the bright idea to all bring food the last day and have a little end of school party. I volunteered to bring a chocolate sheet cake, the recipe for which had been shared with me by a woman in Edna. It was a recipe I had made only a few times. The class was in the afternoon, so I planned to make the cake the morning of that last day so it would be fresh for class that afternoon.

I had several things going that morning, but the cake was first on the list. The minute I took it out of the oven and saw it was flat as a fat pancake, I realized I had forgotten the baking soda. Well, not to worry; I still had time to make another cake before time to leave for Victoria for class. So I did. Make another one. Just like the first one. Exactly. No baking soda again!

I have no idea what I was thinking, or not thinking, I guess. Proof that multi-tasking is not everything it is cracked up to be. Now time to leave was drawing near. So I just iced that sucker and took off for class.

By the time I got to Victoria, I had a plan. I would just tell them it was brownies instead of cake. We had class and ended with our desserts. As my classmates graciously ate the cake, the truth came out, and we had a good laugh.

Chocolate is chocolate, and if it is sweet enough, well, one can overlook a texture issue. “It still tastes good,” they all told me as they scarfed it down with a gulump kind of sound, and then I swear you could hear that bite go thud! as it hit the bottom of their stomachs.

I had almost an empty pan to take home and no one was listed in the obituaries the next day, so I thought about passing it off as my new recipe. Not.

Now I make that cake all the time, soda included, and it is still a hit.

Tales From The Kitchen: Learning to Make Pie Crust

Following recipes accurately was one problem in my early cooking days (see “Tales From the Kitchen: The Giant Cake,” January 31, 2013); incomplete recipes was quite another matter.

Besides the cook books I received as wedding gifts, most of the recipes I tried to use were from Mother; many of hers were from her mother. Makes sense, right? So I had the pie crust recipe that had been handed down to her by Grandmother, and they both made lovely pies and cobblers with this wonderful crust. I also had the family chocolate meringue pie recipe, so I set out to make those for my new husband.

The filling was wonderful, and I could even manage nice meringue. The crust was another story. I could barely get it to roll out and then move it into the pie pan. But I would come up with a pretty pie, and Bill would dutifully eat the filling and the meringue and leave the crust.

This went on for a few pies, and I finally thought to ask Mother what I was doing wrong. I had the recipe card in hand, and we went over the ingredients. Crisco, 3/4 cup? Yes. Half a teaspoon of salt? Yes. One and a half cups flour? Yep. Half cup of water? Umm, no. Seems I left out that one little detail…

So I set to work and Bingo! Pie crust that I could actually roll out and get to the pie pan in one piece! Pie crust that was actually eaten with the rest of the pie! Problem solved.

Now my pies turn out very edible, thank you very much, and I am something of a snob when it comes to pie crust. I look down my nose with disdain at so-called homemade pies that, upon tasting, are obviously not completely homemade because the crust tastes ready-made. And there definitely is a notable difference. Or its perfectly-formed, mass-produced shape gives it away as well. I don’t get it; the real thing tastes so much better, and it really isn’t that hard (now that I know what I am doing!) to make from scratch, I just can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t do it themselves.

The funny thing is, I have since then tried other crust recipes, and they never turn out as well. Go figure.

This is not one of my prettiest cobblers-for that let me refer you to “Green Grapes,” July 21, 2010-but it is one I had just made and had handy for a picture. When I want to do my best Martha Stewart imitation, I cut out shapes in the crust with cookie cutters. You might notice I am wearing my apron, also a product of my mother. She always wore an apron when she cooked. Many years ago she made this and two other aprons that I always use. The tradition continues and her cooking legacy lives on.