My First New 3-D Movie

I saw my first new, high-tech 3-D movie the other day, the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and I must say I was not impressed. In fact, I think Hollywood has forgotten all about telling a story and now writers just sit around thinking up action and fight scenes and other stuff for the sole purpose of making it look like something is falling off the screen into the audience’s lap. Or thrust a sword into your face or whatever.  This movie ran two hours, and what story they had could have easily been told in 90 minutes or maybe even less. And the 3-D effects made my eyes feel weird.  Johnny Depp was fun to watch, but then he would have been just as much fun without the 3-D.

I have been told that Avatar was really cool in 3-D, and perhaps it was; I saw the regular version.  I was not overly impressed with that movie, either. It was, after all, basically cowboys and Indians in outer space, but maybe the 3-D effects were what made it outstanding. No doubt my generation gap is showing again.

I can vaguely remember the old 3-D movies, you know, the ones way last century when I was just a kid. Seems like the glasses’ lenses were green and red and made out of flimsy cardboard and always sat crooked on your nose. And as I recall, the images on the screen had shadings of red and green on them when they jumped off the screen into your lap, too.

But it was a hoot when I walked into the theater (the previews had already started and they were all in 3-D too) and turned to walk up the stairs to a seat and was greeted by all these people sitting there  placidly in their 3-D glasses, looking like an army of Buddy Holly impersonators…